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<h1><a href="https://archiveofourown.org/works/22595239">Heaven Sighs</a> by <a class='authorlink' href='https://archiveofourown.org/users/sunshinexprincess/pseuds/sunshinexprincess'>sunshinexprincess</a></h1>

<table class="full">

<tr><td><b>Series:</b></td><td>Wound With Circumstance [6]</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Category:</b></td><td>Star Wars - All Media Types, Star Wars Sequel Trilogy</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Genre:</b></td><td>F/M, Force Bond (Star Wars), Kinda, Slow Burn</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Language:</b></td><td>English</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Status:</b></td><td>Completed</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Published:</b></td><td>2020-02-07</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Updated:</b></td><td>2020-02-07</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Packaged:</b></td><td>2021-05-18 11:29:00</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Rating:</b></td><td>Teen And Up Audiences</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Warnings:</b></td><td>Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Chapters:</b></td><td>1</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Words:</b></td><td>1,116</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Publisher:</b></td><td>archiveofourown.org</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Story URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/works/22595239</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Author URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/users/sunshinexprincess/pseuds/sunshinexprincess</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Summary:</b></td><td><div class="userstuff">
              <p>He pulled her into him in answer, swallowing her whole in his lap, breathing deeply into her hair and pressing healing into her skin. He wished he could give her the answer she wanted. </p><p>But this was all he had.</p>
            </div></td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Relationships:</b></td><td>Kylo Ren/Rey</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Series:</b></td><td>Wound With Circumstance [6]</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Series URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/series/1606390</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Comments:</b></td><td>3</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Kudos:</b></td><td>33</td></tr>

</table>

<a name="section0001"><h2>Heaven Sighs</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>It wasn’t like he <em>wanted</em> to kill her.</p><p> </p><p>If anything really, he thought, trudging through the sand he could have sworn he just trudged through thirty seconds ago, he wanted to find her, put his saber down, and hold her close until they could both feel the healing surging through their nerves. If it took hours? Fine. He could wait that long, he could hold her forever if only she would come with him.</p><p> </p><p>None of this was to say, of course, that he wasn’t capable of ruling the galaxy on his own. He was strong, yes. He was powerful, undoubtedly. But with her: he could be stronger, more powerful.</p><p> </p><p>She was so broken. Just like him. Both abandoned -literally or figuratively- when they were young, both owners of a power and a responsibility no one else could understand. And both hopelessly, devastatingly, alone in the world.</p><p> </p><p>Her friends had all but cut her off, she had revealed to him one night recently when she appeared in his quarters, unusually drunk and and crying. She had confided in those <em>idiots</em>- his face took on a disgusted grimace- finally, about their Bond and the consequent situations I t had resulted in. Instead of the support and understanding she had been convinced that they would give her (and he could have told her they wouldn’t if she had just asked for his opinion), the pair had reacted angrily, shouting at her and questioning her commitment to the Resistance. Which, he mused, if she wasn’t debating then, she surely was now.</p><p> </p><p>No, it wasn’t like he wanted to kill her at all. She was alone, and confused, and he would be damned if she went rogue and ended up like he himself had: subject to mind control, naive and desperate for any sort of validation.</p><p> </p><p>She needed a teacher.</p><p> </p><p>
  <em>I can teach you the ways of the Force.</em>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <em>I know them well enough myself, thank you.</em>
</p><p> </p><p>If he had been capable of such reflexive movement at the moment, he would have smirked at her response. He didn’t.</p><p> </p><p>
  <em>Where are you?</em>
</p><p> </p><p><em>If I could tell you I would</em>, her annoyed answer echoed in his head. <em>This place is just like Jakku.</em></p><p> </p><p>
  <em>It looks a little sandier.</em>
</p><p> </p><p>He heard her laugh lightly, and focused in on where the energy came from. He turned right.</p><p> </p><p><em>This is kind of like hide and seek isn’t it? </em>He asked her, shaking sand from his cloak as he made his way up a large dune.</p><p> </p><p>
  <em>I wouldn’t know. I never had anyone to play it with.</em>
</p><p> </p><p>His heart tightened slightly, though he wished it wouldn’t. They were getting too close. Too personal. It was dangerous.</p><p> </p><p><em>Don’t feel bad,</em> she echoedin his head lightly. <em>The Supreme Leader doesn’t have time for emotions, I thought?</em></p><p> </p><p>
  <em>Hilarious.</em>
</p><p> </p><p>Her energy was growing stronger, and as he crested yet another dune he saw a small patch of trees in the middle of the monstrous valley. An oasis.</p><p> </p><p><em>Smart girl. </em>He once again kicked himself mentally for how disgustingly fond it sounded.</p><p> </p><p>He stumbled down the steep wall of sand, shaking it vigorously from his boots when he came to the bottom. The patch of trees was just in front of him and inside it, not only healing, but water.</p><p> </p><p>Thank. . . whatever, because he wasn’t sure how much longer he would have made it.</p><p> </p><p><em>Hang in there.</em> He could tell she was trying not to sound too worried.</p><p> </p><p>He half-ran through the trees, whipping branches and vines out of his was furiously, panting hard and sweat running from his brow to meet his lips, salty and warm. The shallow pool was close, so close that he could taste the coolness on his needy tongue.</p><p> </p><p>He pushed the last branch away, finding a small clearing with a glorious pool of water in the middle of it, and Rey, wincing as she stretched out her neck at its side. He let out a grateful gasp, unlatching his mask and letting it fall carelessly into the sand as he scrambled towards the pool, kneeling at its edge and beginning to drink in large gulps.</p><p> </p><p>“Did we tire you out?”</p><p> </p><p>He rolled his eyes at the sing-song quality to her voice, though he could tell she was tired.</p><p> </p><p>“I wouldn’t be bragging if I were you. I’m not the one with a destroyed fleet and only ten percent of my troops left,” he spat, splashing water onto his wounds.</p><p> </p><p>She drew in an offended breath, hurt shooting through her and into the space between them to whisper sadly at his neck.</p><p> </p><p>“That was harsh,” she shook off the attack after a second’s pause, sitting heavily at his side and drawing her knees to her chest.</p><p> </p><p>“War usually is Sola.”</p><p> </p><p>She tilted her head to look at him out of the corner of her eye. He looked like. . .well, hell. His hair was matted with what looked a lot like blood, his robes torn and the parts of his body she could see were deep, bloody, and caked with sand. His eyes though.</p><p> </p><p>How could he be so cold?</p><p> </p><p>“War shouldn’t exist,” she half-pouted like a child, crossing her arms tightly.</p><p> </p><p>He chuckled humorlessly, taking her left hand in his and running his fingers up her arm.</p><p> </p><p>“War is a necessary evil,” he said absentmindedly as he watched the cuts heal seamlessly. “A way of bringing order to the orderless.”</p><p> </p><p>She shook her head at the same time she smoothed he palm over his stomach. “I will never understand the way you think.”</p><p> </p><p>
  <em>Sick.</em>
</p><p> </p><p>“And yet you still keep me closest,” he responded out loud to her thought, raising a single eyebrow and leaning back onto his hands. “One could call you a hypocrite.”</p><p> </p><p>She shot him what would have been a very convincing death glare had he been anyone else. But he wasn’t, and so he just chuckled again, leaning forward to cup water in his hands and pour it over his head, rinsing out the blood of how many people, he didn’t know. Or frankly care.</p><p> </p><p>Something told him he probably should.</p><p> </p><p>Rey sighed, the weight of her grief, her anger, her <em>exhaustion</em> pouring from her energy into his relentlessly. She turned back to face the water, resuming her position, teeth clenched and jaw pulsing slightly. She looked heartbreakingly small.</p><p> </p><p>“Will it be like this forever?” She whispered finally, pressing her right cheek into her folded arms.</p><p> </p><p>
  <em>Please say no.</em>
</p><p> </p><p>He pulled her into him in answer, swallowing her whole in his lap, breathing deeply into her hair and pressing healing into her skin. He wished he could give her the answer she wanted.</p><p> </p><p>But this was all he had.</p><p> </p><p>“I hope not.”</p><p> </p><p> </p><p> </p>
  </div><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_foot_notes"><b>Author's Note:</b><blockquote class="userstuff"><p>as usual: I will go down with this ship, ideas always welcome, etc etc etc</p><p>I hope you all enjoyed and are having a wonderful February :)</p></blockquote></div></div>
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